Tuesday, December 09, 2014

Faults to Refrain From

1. They do not give a logical answer which can satisfy the questioner. They add many unnecessary points and the actual answer is still not known. Always remember that if anyone asks a question, fully understand what is being said and then reply accordingly.
2. When women are given some work, they listen and keep quiet. This leaves the speaker in doubt because he does not know whether the answer is in the affirmative or in the negative. In this manner the task remains undone.
3. Women normally scream when giving the maid a task to perform or tell anyone something. There are two evils in this: One is shamelessness and lack of concealment (pardah) because the sound reaches outside. The second evil is that the message is not understood and the work remains undone.
4. Women generally waste money in useless avenues even if they have to take a loan. It is sinful to waste. Whenever you intend spending, first examine whether there is any deeni benefit or any worldly need. After thoroughly pondering, if there is a need and a benefit, go ahead and spend. As far as possible avoid taking debts even if you have to undergo a little hardship.
5. Always be punctual especially when travelling. Do not delay unnecessarily.
6. Do not take too many things on a journey. This restricts the space. The greatest problem is for the accompanying men who have to look after everything. In certain places they have to carry the things and certain places they have to pay the transport costs. Take similar precautions on a train-journey because the more provisions you take, the more problems will arise.
7. Upon reaching a place, women should not descend from the car immediately. First send a male to find out if there is anyone and inform them of your arrival. If there is any male he will separate himself. When you are informed that there is no male in the house, you can enter.
8. When two women are conversing, it often happens that one begins to speak while the other has not as yet finished speaking. In fact it occurs very often that both start speaking together. Neither of them listen to the other. What benefit is there in speaking in such a manner?
9. Women keep jewellery or money carelessly under the pillow or open in some corner even though they have the means to protect it in a safe place.
10. Sometimes you send a woman for some work and she goes and begins something else. She returns after having completed both tasks. The person who sent her is confronted with extreme anxiety and doubt because he has estimated that the work will take a certain amount of time and when that time passes by, he begins to get worried. In the meanwhile the woman thinks to herself that there is no harm in doing both errands simultaneously. Do not do so. First complete the initial task thereby honouring his request and thereafter tackle your other work at ease.
11. A common defect is of laziness and procrastination i.e. to leave work for later. Most often harm is caused.
12. There is no brevity in the nature of some women and a woman does not realise that the situation requires haste. Therefore the task has to be done as quickly as possible. Sometimes the actual work is spoilt and the opportunity lost.
13. If something is lost, women normally accuse without investigating. Do not become suspicious on the slightest of doubts.
14. Too much money is spent on purchasing betel leaf (paan) and tobacco. At least five or six poor people can be fed with that money. By eating paan unnecessarily, one becomes addicted.
15. If there are two people speaking about some matter, do not unnecessarily meddle. As long as you are not asked for your advice, remain silent.
16. After returning from a gathering do not describe the form, clothing and jewellery of other women to your husband. This may incline his heart to one of them ultimately resulting in anguish.
17. Do not interrupt someone who is engaged in some work. This is a loathsome habit. Wait until he finishes his task and then address him.
18. Always speak properly so that you are understood. Sometimes due to not understanding the message correctly, animosity is created between two people.
19. Listen with full attention when you are spoken to. Do not do something else or begin to speak to someone else.
20. Admit your faults and do not make feeble excuses.
21. Do not criticize any small or insignificant present which is given to you by saying, "what was the need to send such a present? Did the sender not have any shame in sending it?" This is an evil habit. The sender could only afford that much. Appreciate it and be grateful.
22. Do not hesitate in doing a task which is assigned to you.
23. Do not stitch clothes while you are wearing them.
24. At the time of arrival and departure, women attempt to cry even if they have to force themselves because they fear that if they do not shed a few tears people will say they are bereft of love.
25. Do not carelessly leave a needle in the pillow as it can prick someone.
26. Always protect the children from heat and cold as neglect in this regard results in illness.
27. Do not feed the children when they are not hungry nor insist on feeding the visitors.

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